the happiness project.
I was able to read this book in less than three hours. Mainly because I skimmed parts that I felt confident in (I know who my spiritual leader is) and really believe that joy is my bigger; that happiness is fleeting, circumstantial. I also knew I wasn't ready or willing to take on another project or lead a group to do so. All of this made it a great, quick read. I did find it beneficial to look at and consider the things that I really enjoy and embrace doing those things even if it isn't popular or what everyone else enjoys. I smiled considered what I do enjoy and making sure that I spend more time on those things being conscious of what I do to contribute to the happiness and encouragement of others. Those things for me are being hospitable, reading and participating in book clubs, I really am enjoying playing with the blog (the swaps, link-ups, challenges - super fun for me) and social media outlets; creative opportunities in small, quick doses. I actually got this book from a swap with my blog friend Mia. It was a great time for me to read this and find feasible things to focus on. I hope to implement "Pollyanna Week" and to also find a way to encourage my family and friends more intimately on their birthdays. I'm glad I got to read it and am happy to pass it along.
July 25, 2013
July 25, 2013
the hunger games.
For the most part, I enjoyed reading these books. I believe that they would and should make for great discussions with teens and their parents as there are many things about the world of Panem and our own that overlap. I did not know what I expected or how I thought it would end, but this idea of victors for sport – I get it. It’s nothing “new under the sun” as the Bible promises. We watch and participate in ridiculous things for entertainment. Even some of the shows I enjoy, I see the underlining theme as being about destruction of another. No matter how pretty (or in the Capital, how much like a spectacle) they are on the outside, the goal is to kill. I regret that I missed the opportunity to read it along with my teenaged son. There are some adult topics (sexual desire and murder) in them that I would want to talk about. Especially how they are trained, poised and manipulated to switch from compassion to survival. I am glad I had time to read them during my vacation and even see the first movie. Most of the time I find this to be true and this time is no different; the book was better.
July 24, 2013.
July 24, 2013.
the daily five.
Repetitive but clear, this book is a great guide for setting up a reading block where readers work toward become independent readers. It also directs teachers toward the importance of students becoming better readers by PRACTICING reading skills. If you've been in a classroom lately, teachers can tend to do most of the talking - we think we have to in order to ensure understanding.
These sisters have done their research and their homework, citing the work of many experts on reading while putting together the structure for helping implement these strategies. So many times we get stuck because we don't know how to put it together; to make it work. We added this text to our summer teacher reading homework list with the expectation that it will be implemented school wide...effectively.
I would have greatly appreciated these choices while practicing reading in school oh so many years ago.
July 7, 2013.
These sisters have done their research and their homework, citing the work of many experts on reading while putting together the structure for helping implement these strategies. So many times we get stuck because we don't know how to put it together; to make it work. We added this text to our summer teacher reading homework list with the expectation that it will be implemented school wide...effectively.
I would have greatly appreciated these choices while practicing reading in school oh so many years ago.
July 7, 2013.
adored.
Read in less than 32 hours.
Too much like Postcards from Last Summer. The reckless abandon and the language and the sheer crazy. I don't know if this would have continued to be a read for me had I not been signed up for this challenge. When I picked it up as one of her over one dozen books from the library, I was like why did I pick this one - it's so darn long. Continuing to read though, I was incredibly glad to have chosen this one after seeing the abusive relationship between Siena and him. It was fascinating reading about and watching it unravel and seeing some of her revelations and the man's desire to destroy her. Do we give over the right to others when we want to be loved and adored?
I missed the signs until he punched her and then it was clear to me the signs that had led up to him thinking this was okay and that she would be an acceptable victim. He was able to quickly find her fear and her need to feel connected and then manipulated it for his purposes - to make money. A messed up childhood and a lot of pain in her upbringing made her susceptible to his will. I was disappointed but realizing how common this must be when people place power at the center of their focus.
Embarrassed to admit that I'm reading this type of book, I'm glad that I'm done reading it. I appreciate that this author is my same age but this is basically reality television that I'd be ashamed to admit I was hooked on. Glad it's done.
July 6, 2013.
Too much like Postcards from Last Summer. The reckless abandon and the language and the sheer crazy. I don't know if this would have continued to be a read for me had I not been signed up for this challenge. When I picked it up as one of her over one dozen books from the library, I was like why did I pick this one - it's so darn long. Continuing to read though, I was incredibly glad to have chosen this one after seeing the abusive relationship between Siena and him. It was fascinating reading about and watching it unravel and seeing some of her revelations and the man's desire to destroy her. Do we give over the right to others when we want to be loved and adored?
I missed the signs until he punched her and then it was clear to me the signs that had led up to him thinking this was okay and that she would be an acceptable victim. He was able to quickly find her fear and her need to feel connected and then manipulated it for his purposes - to make money. A messed up childhood and a lot of pain in her upbringing made her susceptible to his will. I was disappointed but realizing how common this must be when people place power at the center of their focus.
Embarrassed to admit that I'm reading this type of book, I'm glad that I'm done reading it. I appreciate that this author is my same age but this is basically reality television that I'd be ashamed to admit I was hooked on. Glad it's done.
July 6, 2013.
postcards from last summer.
It's all about forgiveness and friendship. The postcards are written to Lindsay, the author within the book and the narrator of our story. She's the psych major that remains the stable friend in the group of four as they rotate around the Hamptons and her.
There is a lot in this 474 page book and it was a fun read. The four friends all end up remaining great friends through some tumultuous decisions; things that would've caused me to walk away from those ladies. It makes me think about some of my current relationships and how I work through it. Lots of poor language, immoral behavior (very descriptive - sigh) and poor communication makes for a quick read - one I never need to read again. All that being said, I did tear up at the end.
After finishing the book and having a bit of time to reflect, I see some similarities in the book and the relationships in Sex in the City. I appreciate how Bailey tells the friends' story over many years and stages of their lives - as the reader, you do get to witness their growth as they experience boys, men, children, jobs, parents, racism, homes or dare I say mansions, golfing all in the setting of the Hamptons - which I've never been to but think I'd like to visit.
Overall, a good poolside pick.
July 5, 2013.
There is a lot in this 474 page book and it was a fun read. The four friends all end up remaining great friends through some tumultuous decisions; things that would've caused me to walk away from those ladies. It makes me think about some of my current relationships and how I work through it. Lots of poor language, immoral behavior (very descriptive - sigh) and poor communication makes for a quick read - one I never need to read again. All that being said, I did tear up at the end.
After finishing the book and having a bit of time to reflect, I see some similarities in the book and the relationships in Sex in the City. I appreciate how Bailey tells the friends' story over many years and stages of their lives - as the reader, you do get to witness their growth as they experience boys, men, children, jobs, parents, racism, homes or dare I say mansions, golfing all in the setting of the Hamptons - which I've never been to but think I'd like to visit.
Overall, a good poolside pick.
July 5, 2013.
practice perfect: 42 rules for getting better at getting better.
Wowza, wowza, wowza!
Why hadn't I thought about this sooner? How do people get to and thrive at the Olympics? They practice. How do the Superbowl Champions become the best? They practice. Not only do they practice, they practice to get better.
Enlightening and exciting, I'm happy to have attended the conference in Albany and benefitted from the practice of becoming a more effective leader and coach through the practice of practice. So many gems of things that I did not realize could be done or some of which I was doing and there are some things that make me nervous because now that I know there is no excuse not to become better. To not tackle my areas of weakness and just stay in the same plane of performance in my personal life, professional life and even my walk with God.
I am very enthusiastic about working with a leader (my principal) who sees value in this concept and gives great feedback in helping me to become a more effective leader.
It's going to be a year of growth.
July 2, 2013.
Why hadn't I thought about this sooner? How do people get to and thrive at the Olympics? They practice. How do the Superbowl Champions become the best? They practice. Not only do they practice, they practice to get better.
Enlightening and exciting, I'm happy to have attended the conference in Albany and benefitted from the practice of becoming a more effective leader and coach through the practice of practice. So many gems of things that I did not realize could be done or some of which I was doing and there are some things that make me nervous because now that I know there is no excuse not to become better. To not tackle my areas of weakness and just stay in the same plane of performance in my personal life, professional life and even my walk with God.
I am very enthusiastic about working with a leader (my principal) who sees value in this concept and gives great feedback in helping me to become a more effective leader.
It's going to be a year of growth.
July 2, 2013.
The great gatsby.
On my first read I think I missed "it". The thing that makes everyone fall in love with this book. So I've asked a couple of questions and realize that I was looking for the wrong color (purple instead of yellow) and want too badly to know if they planned it rather than just enjoying it. I am fortunate to have a vacation coming up and am very excited about trying it again.
Stay tuned for the review from my re-read.
June 27, 2013.
Stay tuned for the review from my re-read.
June 27, 2013.
the year of biblical womanhood.
A fascinating read.
Rachel Held Evans, blogger turned author went on a year-long journey to live out the biblical principles related to women as literally as possible. The woman did her research. She was open to hearing and learning from non-traditional and unexpected sources and did not put up boundaries where they didn't need to be.
It was challenging in some places because my own thinking was brought into the light as I read about her being on the roof, camping out in her yard and growing out her hair because the Bible "told her to". My favorite chapter was about submission and overall I was most moved by what her husband wrote after each monthly challenge in his own reflection of the project. Not what I expected.
I will say. I did not necessarily understand or agree with some of her thoughts and statements in the middle, but I would absolutely recommend this book to others based upon the strengthening of her marriage and her growth in understanding and loving her own self as it depends on God and His precious word. In that, she grew closer to who Jesus called her to be and her love of God was so evident. Not a completely different Rachel, but a more whole and at peace one. I did not think that I could pursue anything that looked like or seemed like this project, but I did appreciate that it was another "voice" telling me that I needed to turn my focus from me and my weaknesses and towards God and focus rather on His perfection.
The end was so touching and convicting and wonderful. Go Team Dan & Rachel! I now follow Rachel's blog and am grateful for what she has been willing to venture into, write about and share.
It is mine to proclaim before God that I am a woman of valor. Thank you Rachel.
June 7, 2013.
Rachel Held Evans, blogger turned author went on a year-long journey to live out the biblical principles related to women as literally as possible. The woman did her research. She was open to hearing and learning from non-traditional and unexpected sources and did not put up boundaries where they didn't need to be.
It was challenging in some places because my own thinking was brought into the light as I read about her being on the roof, camping out in her yard and growing out her hair because the Bible "told her to". My favorite chapter was about submission and overall I was most moved by what her husband wrote after each monthly challenge in his own reflection of the project. Not what I expected.
I will say. I did not necessarily understand or agree with some of her thoughts and statements in the middle, but I would absolutely recommend this book to others based upon the strengthening of her marriage and her growth in understanding and loving her own self as it depends on God and His precious word. In that, she grew closer to who Jesus called her to be and her love of God was so evident. Not a completely different Rachel, but a more whole and at peace one. I did not think that I could pursue anything that looked like or seemed like this project, but I did appreciate that it was another "voice" telling me that I needed to turn my focus from me and my weaknesses and towards God and focus rather on His perfection.
The end was so touching and convicting and wonderful. Go Team Dan & Rachel! I now follow Rachel's blog and am grateful for what she has been willing to venture into, write about and share.
It is mine to proclaim before God that I am a woman of valor. Thank you Rachel.
June 7, 2013.
Redeeming love.
I was stopped cold several times while reading this book. The words seeped into the hard protection in my heart from different vantage points and at different times, unexpected and without apology.
Recommended by a sister in the church, I was hesitant to read it because I was concerned it was going to tell me to do something that I didn't want to do; didn't think I COULD do. She knew me and that I really needed to read the book and see myself because after I finished it, I wished that it DID tell me what to do.
Michael Hosea. Wow! He makes modern day "hunks" look like frogs with no hope of becoming princes. So many things that we are sold as desirable to want from a man in today's society but so much more. A man who loved God's word, who listened to and obeyed it. He chose to pursue and eventually marry Angel (and pursue her again...and again) and got through the heartache of loving a woman who had been damaged deep within her being. A woman who was eventually redeemed by Perfect Love.
Reading this book was convicting for me. I do not love like Michael and do not think I know how to receive this kind of love. Vulnerable, real, humble, sincere, challenging, to the core love. 1 Corinthians 13 love and then some. Topics of submission, repentance, jealousy, hatred and sin are all in the book and they could not help but make me consider my own heart. I read this book and could honestly say that I want to be loved like this. A man willing to look into my soul and see what God sees and loves me in spite of what is actually there. So much doubt. And fear. Can it be, for me?
Many scriptures, warnings, encouragements and challenges. This was a difficult book for me to read, but I did not want to put it down. Saving it as the last thing I did before turning off the light at night, I came to escape quickly into the world of the Hoseas and Altmans. Their "simple" lives and the women who were outspoken and sure of what they wanted from the men around them. The examples of women who knew their role and walked confidently within it. The power of prayer and the absolute need to read and trust in God's perfect word.
We all need this kind of love and to learn how to love this way. Ultimately allowing Him to be in His place and do as only He can do is the way to get there. Ms. Rivers does a wonderful job of bringing the passion alive. The acceptable and encouraged love between a flawed married couple trying to leave the past in the past and become one; I am intimidated by this love but still hope to receive and give it someday and everyday after that. Until death does us apart.
June 2, 2013
Recommended by a sister in the church, I was hesitant to read it because I was concerned it was going to tell me to do something that I didn't want to do; didn't think I COULD do. She knew me and that I really needed to read the book and see myself because after I finished it, I wished that it DID tell me what to do.
Michael Hosea. Wow! He makes modern day "hunks" look like frogs with no hope of becoming princes. So many things that we are sold as desirable to want from a man in today's society but so much more. A man who loved God's word, who listened to and obeyed it. He chose to pursue and eventually marry Angel (and pursue her again...and again) and got through the heartache of loving a woman who had been damaged deep within her being. A woman who was eventually redeemed by Perfect Love.
Reading this book was convicting for me. I do not love like Michael and do not think I know how to receive this kind of love. Vulnerable, real, humble, sincere, challenging, to the core love. 1 Corinthians 13 love and then some. Topics of submission, repentance, jealousy, hatred and sin are all in the book and they could not help but make me consider my own heart. I read this book and could honestly say that I want to be loved like this. A man willing to look into my soul and see what God sees and loves me in spite of what is actually there. So much doubt. And fear. Can it be, for me?
Many scriptures, warnings, encouragements and challenges. This was a difficult book for me to read, but I did not want to put it down. Saving it as the last thing I did before turning off the light at night, I came to escape quickly into the world of the Hoseas and Altmans. Their "simple" lives and the women who were outspoken and sure of what they wanted from the men around them. The examples of women who knew their role and walked confidently within it. The power of prayer and the absolute need to read and trust in God's perfect word.
We all need this kind of love and to learn how to love this way. Ultimately allowing Him to be in His place and do as only He can do is the way to get there. Ms. Rivers does a wonderful job of bringing the passion alive. The acceptable and encouraged love between a flawed married couple trying to leave the past in the past and become one; I am intimidated by this love but still hope to receive and give it someday and everyday after that. Until death does us apart.
June 2, 2013
Emotional Abuse; Silent Killer of Marriage - A 30 Year Abuser Speaks Out.
To post or not to post, that is the question.
Considering it, I have decided to share that this book has come to me at a time where I needed words to explain what is happening in my own head and heart and what I need to claim as I work on refocusing my head and heart on the love that Jesus has for me.
A long way to go in better understanding what this means for me and my family, I am grateful that this gentleman had the courage to speak out about his own abuse - that afflicted on him as a child and the abuse that he subjected his wife and children to.
James does not profess to be a professional, but he is unwavering about what helped him break the cycle, what he lost and what he gained along the way. I think he must of felt a huge nudge to tell this story because he published and printed himself; so fast it seems that he had little time to allow or request that someone edit it. Though very captivating and interesting to read, the English major in me could not help but circle his errors and correct the writing mistakes. Usually very annoying to me, not even the fifty or so wrongs throughout the text could not water down or distract from the powerful content.
Having some personal experience with this topic and it not yet being fully resolved in my own understanding, I will say that I do need to explore my role in emotional abuse and pray to God to show me what I am learn. I am thinking it will be something in relation to being whole in Christ before being able to be a healthy member of a healthy relationship, but I am ready to listen.
If you think that you are dealing with a person's anger and you (and they) can't get beyond it, read this book.
May 13, 2013
Considering it, I have decided to share that this book has come to me at a time where I needed words to explain what is happening in my own head and heart and what I need to claim as I work on refocusing my head and heart on the love that Jesus has for me.
A long way to go in better understanding what this means for me and my family, I am grateful that this gentleman had the courage to speak out about his own abuse - that afflicted on him as a child and the abuse that he subjected his wife and children to.
James does not profess to be a professional, but he is unwavering about what helped him break the cycle, what he lost and what he gained along the way. I think he must of felt a huge nudge to tell this story because he published and printed himself; so fast it seems that he had little time to allow or request that someone edit it. Though very captivating and interesting to read, the English major in me could not help but circle his errors and correct the writing mistakes. Usually very annoying to me, not even the fifty or so wrongs throughout the text could not water down or distract from the powerful content.
Having some personal experience with this topic and it not yet being fully resolved in my own understanding, I will say that I do need to explore my role in emotional abuse and pray to God to show me what I am learn. I am thinking it will be something in relation to being whole in Christ before being able to be a healthy member of a healthy relationship, but I am ready to listen.
If you think that you are dealing with a person's anger and you (and they) can't get beyond it, read this book.
May 13, 2013
Reclaiming Youth at Risk: Our Hope for the Future.
Currently Reading.
I am all signed up for the "Preview to Summer" (aka P2S) Blogger Book Swap.
My first go -round was initially exciting, but did not end up really well. This time, I am looking forward to being a great swap partner and hopefully building a great connection with another blogger. I am enamored with the woman who spearheads this fun stuff. Check her out at "The Simplicity". Her creativity and enthusiasm allows me to live vicariously through her posts and projects. Having just read the book below (The Marriage Sabbatical) it is clear to me that these are not my passions but I do appreciate having the opportunity to see others live theirs; and hopefully cheer them on while they walk their road. Since I do enjoy reading, I am glad to be joining this Book Swap and hope you will too. |
The Marriage Sabbatical: The Journey that Brings You Home.
Wow.
I didn't even think I should be reading this book. The first 20 pages challenged my own thoughts about marriage and I was quick to judge this book and blame this author for telling me to leave my life in order to have the life that I wanted. I was sweating, my palms were sweating and I was shaking my head back and forth at how the results of her many interviews had led to wives taken three, six or even year long sabbaticals. Who does that?!? Quickly followed up with, I would really like to do that someday.
Jarvis took a sabbatical to a writer's colony out east. She went and wrote and sat and thought about her writing. It must have cost some significant amount of money because people were hired to cook and clean and she was to write. Can you imagine? Away and focused on only one thing - your whatever. Your husband and children and family and job and home and laundry and, and, and are back home, without you. It doesn't even sound real until you continue to read.
This book is not at all about leaving your husband and running from your problems. At this time in my life when our marriage is under deep duress, I was afraid this concept (my own flawed one) would take hold in my head and "make" me flee into some quiet place to figure out how to fix it. Instead, The Marriage Sabbatical, is about a woman (or a man) leaving behind their life to go and really grow from within. In fact, many of the women reported that little changed when they returned or the changes took years to recognize, but the things they noticed and that spurred them to go on other sabbaticals was how they themselves handled their lives - the same (or similar) ones that they returned to.
This concept resonates deeply with me. The transformation piece. I am embarrassed to admit that I do not know what I would go and do. A week alone to myself, no husband, kids and work responsibilities, being unplugged from my box (my nickname for my iPhone) and I can't tell you what I would want to do. That disturbs me and makes me recognized that any barriers that I have identified in not being all that I want or think that I'm being called to be have been because of me. I finished my degree in educational leadership last year and did really well. I have been confidently proclaiming my inability to "lead a building" by being a principal because my kids are still home and they need me. But. When I sit alone and I try to tell myself this, I realize that this reasoning does not stick.
I don't have it all figured out, but this book that I found at a library book sale for $0.25 over four years ago couldn't have come at a better time. Now that I've read it, I will begin planning my first intentional sabbatical for later this year. In fact, at this posting, I will have put aside a few hundred dollars in order to go towards making the trip possible. This book is certainly worth the read for those considering getting married whether it is your first or second time around. In fact, if you are re-marrying, the question of "how much time do you need alone?" is one that ought to be worked into conversation.
I like to be alone. I don't mind my thoughts and the things I think I understand in these blessed moments. Another book that supports the flight attendant's creed - "mothers, before reaching over to place the oxygen mask on your little one, be sure to place your mask over your own face first." If you don't take the time to know and then be you, you MUST ask yourself who and what you are giving to the ones who rely on you.
April 14, 2013
I didn't even think I should be reading this book. The first 20 pages challenged my own thoughts about marriage and I was quick to judge this book and blame this author for telling me to leave my life in order to have the life that I wanted. I was sweating, my palms were sweating and I was shaking my head back and forth at how the results of her many interviews had led to wives taken three, six or even year long sabbaticals. Who does that?!? Quickly followed up with, I would really like to do that someday.
Jarvis took a sabbatical to a writer's colony out east. She went and wrote and sat and thought about her writing. It must have cost some significant amount of money because people were hired to cook and clean and she was to write. Can you imagine? Away and focused on only one thing - your whatever. Your husband and children and family and job and home and laundry and, and, and are back home, without you. It doesn't even sound real until you continue to read.
This book is not at all about leaving your husband and running from your problems. At this time in my life when our marriage is under deep duress, I was afraid this concept (my own flawed one) would take hold in my head and "make" me flee into some quiet place to figure out how to fix it. Instead, The Marriage Sabbatical, is about a woman (or a man) leaving behind their life to go and really grow from within. In fact, many of the women reported that little changed when they returned or the changes took years to recognize, but the things they noticed and that spurred them to go on other sabbaticals was how they themselves handled their lives - the same (or similar) ones that they returned to.
This concept resonates deeply with me. The transformation piece. I am embarrassed to admit that I do not know what I would go and do. A week alone to myself, no husband, kids and work responsibilities, being unplugged from my box (my nickname for my iPhone) and I can't tell you what I would want to do. That disturbs me and makes me recognized that any barriers that I have identified in not being all that I want or think that I'm being called to be have been because of me. I finished my degree in educational leadership last year and did really well. I have been confidently proclaiming my inability to "lead a building" by being a principal because my kids are still home and they need me. But. When I sit alone and I try to tell myself this, I realize that this reasoning does not stick.
I don't have it all figured out, but this book that I found at a library book sale for $0.25 over four years ago couldn't have come at a better time. Now that I've read it, I will begin planning my first intentional sabbatical for later this year. In fact, at this posting, I will have put aside a few hundred dollars in order to go towards making the trip possible. This book is certainly worth the read for those considering getting married whether it is your first or second time around. In fact, if you are re-marrying, the question of "how much time do you need alone?" is one that ought to be worked into conversation.
I like to be alone. I don't mind my thoughts and the things I think I understand in these blessed moments. Another book that supports the flight attendant's creed - "mothers, before reaching over to place the oxygen mask on your little one, be sure to place your mask over your own face first." If you don't take the time to know and then be you, you MUST ask yourself who and what you are giving to the ones who rely on you.
April 14, 2013
Learning to Stay.
Breathless. Or trying to find my breath. Or measure it or calm or control it, all throughout this book; a definite page turner. You will not believe that this author has little personal military experience and that this is only her second book.
Brad & Elise are a couple to envy, not because they've got it all but because they have one another. Smart, good looking, hard working. They've certainly experienced struggles and challenges leading them to one another but when Brad enlists to fight in the war in Iraq everything changes.
What an delightfully real and honest portrayal of what I suspect is the untold story of what happens after the wonderful homecomings. I've never been able to watch those shows, not one. I guess I have suspected that story is real for so many and am grateful that it was told through Brad and Elise. I felt so deeply connected to Elise and appreciated her honesty - well the honesty she had with herself. It was great that I never had a firm idea of what she looked like (it wasn't about her looks as her substance) but I definitely felt like I knew her and would be friends with her. Good friends. There were certainly times while reading where I was shouting out to Elise to share her thoughts aloud. "Tell him gurl!" (Yes, perpetuating the stereotype that black folks yell at the screen while experiencing entertainment.) The connection could have also stemmed to the fact that I lived in Madison, Wisconsin for over 20 years and knew of or have had a personal experience with 95% of the locations Celello mentions in her book. It brought back such fond memories.
Through the lens of my blackness, I noted that the token blacks were not able to survive the reconciliation and that the way it was written, you were not to like Sondra (black) for her choices though you could have supported Elise (white) for hers. Seems the vilification of a bad decision, a very hurtful one and the color of the person who made it; subtle, but the distinction was present for me.
This is not just a book about life after the return from deployment, it's also about the complexities of a woman's heart when life doesn't unfold as planned and exposes the reader's own heart and thoughts. Celello makes the reader consider who we might be when it may be necessary to make big changes and tough decisions to continue moving forward to save what is most important.
And just let me say, I deeply appreciated the experience of sitting with a paperback, turning the pages with my mixed-mani, curled up on the couch with quiet and focus. It was as intense as yoga - I had to keep telling myself to breathe. To Celello, I say, "thank you for the wonderfully enjoyable reading experience."
March 30, 2013
Brad & Elise are a couple to envy, not because they've got it all but because they have one another. Smart, good looking, hard working. They've certainly experienced struggles and challenges leading them to one another but when Brad enlists to fight in the war in Iraq everything changes.
What an delightfully real and honest portrayal of what I suspect is the untold story of what happens after the wonderful homecomings. I've never been able to watch those shows, not one. I guess I have suspected that story is real for so many and am grateful that it was told through Brad and Elise. I felt so deeply connected to Elise and appreciated her honesty - well the honesty she had with herself. It was great that I never had a firm idea of what she looked like (it wasn't about her looks as her substance) but I definitely felt like I knew her and would be friends with her. Good friends. There were certainly times while reading where I was shouting out to Elise to share her thoughts aloud. "Tell him gurl!" (Yes, perpetuating the stereotype that black folks yell at the screen while experiencing entertainment.) The connection could have also stemmed to the fact that I lived in Madison, Wisconsin for over 20 years and knew of or have had a personal experience with 95% of the locations Celello mentions in her book. It brought back such fond memories.
Through the lens of my blackness, I noted that the token blacks were not able to survive the reconciliation and that the way it was written, you were not to like Sondra (black) for her choices though you could have supported Elise (white) for hers. Seems the vilification of a bad decision, a very hurtful one and the color of the person who made it; subtle, but the distinction was present for me.
This is not just a book about life after the return from deployment, it's also about the complexities of a woman's heart when life doesn't unfold as planned and exposes the reader's own heart and thoughts. Celello makes the reader consider who we might be when it may be necessary to make big changes and tough decisions to continue moving forward to save what is most important.
And just let me say, I deeply appreciated the experience of sitting with a paperback, turning the pages with my mixed-mani, curled up on the couch with quiet and focus. It was as intense as yoga - I had to keep telling myself to breathe. To Celello, I say, "thank you for the wonderfully enjoyable reading experience."
March 30, 2013
How To Be Black.
Hilarious to me, I often felt that this book was my outline I might consider using for this blog - just needing me to add me and my own journey to blackness. I chuckled out loud throughout and felt black enough after reading it - minus the references to some black history and many black heroes, I understood the majority of the references, but appreciated the appendix to fill in the gaps. It was great how he didn't do the heavy lifting (negative, accusatory, guilt trodden perspective) and stayed with the focus of the book, but made recommendations for the reader to dig into as one saw fit to go into on one's own.
Listen to this interview that he gave on NPR about the book and his life.
Thurston provokes the reader think and consider themselves and gives many lenses to do it from with his panelists of 'experts' about blackness. I appreciate the panelists he chose. He asked them many questions (including a white man) and prints their thoughts. If at least one or parts of the answers don't strike you, then I wonder if you should continue reading. I will say that if a white person (not married to or having grown up in black neighborhoods or around black people and in the middle or upper classes) reads this book from cover to cover, I am going to be impressed. And if they'd like to engage in conversation about it without feeling shamed or guilty, then I will buy them a cup of coffee and listen. There will be some rough pills to swallow but there are plenty of them for every reader, no matter your skin color. Broaching race is uncomfortable in this country, remember?
There is a lot of sarcasm, to the point where I had to "pull up" and remind myself that even though this is how blacks are viewed, how it is, really is, he is putting all of it up for the reader to look at, scrutinize and then challenge and change the way things are. The call to ownership of the inequity in this country is open to your black (or white curiosity) and what you are willing to do. For me, I am just more compelled to really consider what my everyday life, words and deeds say about being black in America, most importantly to those closest to me. I must admit I think I've done some harm in my more formative years and now actively desire to engage and responsibly charge the subject from my tiny carbon footprint of the world.
There are things in this book that made me think that Thurston knew me and was laying it out for others to see me and/or to help me own myself.
A few examples were: "Maybe you renounced your blackness for a few hours after being told by other black people that the thing you do so well makes you not black." - The chapter in the book entitled, "When Did you First Realize You Were Black?" - About how his Ebonics or Black English Vernacular went into remission when he went to a fantastic school (Sidwell Friends School). Or when he introduced me to terms I knew little about and knew I'd need to look into, like: Negropedia and Pan-African American. Or times when he addressed the anger that can come with being black in America and the constant decisions that need to be made to make some, well many, white people comfortable. There are a lot of "how to" sections in the book - How to be a Black Employee, How to become the (next) black president, How to be the Angry Negro and one of my favorites, How to be a Black Friend.
Though I tired of the content and the level of satire toward the end of the book and even the language at times (does swearing make the point more clear?, I'm just sayin'...) I am glad to have read it. Reading this book exposed me to some topics about blackness that I hope to further explore and language to clearly and without an edge express myself with, while still being black.
Ultimately, Thurston's message is about being oneself. That no matter where the "future of blackness" takes us, we must know ourselves and be ourselves. And that is complicated right? We're trying to figure us out and then trying to explain it to others while staying open to things they do, say or who they are without shutting down or running away or even judging them for being different than we are. It's almost like he was saying you must know blackness in our country and then know yourself and then filter out the stereotypes and expectations (good and bad) and then...live courageously in your skin.
March 28, 2103
Listen to this interview that he gave on NPR about the book and his life.
Thurston provokes the reader think and consider themselves and gives many lenses to do it from with his panelists of 'experts' about blackness. I appreciate the panelists he chose. He asked them many questions (including a white man) and prints their thoughts. If at least one or parts of the answers don't strike you, then I wonder if you should continue reading. I will say that if a white person (not married to or having grown up in black neighborhoods or around black people and in the middle or upper classes) reads this book from cover to cover, I am going to be impressed. And if they'd like to engage in conversation about it without feeling shamed or guilty, then I will buy them a cup of coffee and listen. There will be some rough pills to swallow but there are plenty of them for every reader, no matter your skin color. Broaching race is uncomfortable in this country, remember?
There is a lot of sarcasm, to the point where I had to "pull up" and remind myself that even though this is how blacks are viewed, how it is, really is, he is putting all of it up for the reader to look at, scrutinize and then challenge and change the way things are. The call to ownership of the inequity in this country is open to your black (or white curiosity) and what you are willing to do. For me, I am just more compelled to really consider what my everyday life, words and deeds say about being black in America, most importantly to those closest to me. I must admit I think I've done some harm in my more formative years and now actively desire to engage and responsibly charge the subject from my tiny carbon footprint of the world.
There are things in this book that made me think that Thurston knew me and was laying it out for others to see me and/or to help me own myself.
A few examples were: "Maybe you renounced your blackness for a few hours after being told by other black people that the thing you do so well makes you not black." - The chapter in the book entitled, "When Did you First Realize You Were Black?" - About how his Ebonics or Black English Vernacular went into remission when he went to a fantastic school (Sidwell Friends School). Or when he introduced me to terms I knew little about and knew I'd need to look into, like: Negropedia and Pan-African American. Or times when he addressed the anger that can come with being black in America and the constant decisions that need to be made to make some, well many, white people comfortable. There are a lot of "how to" sections in the book - How to be a Black Employee, How to become the (next) black president, How to be the Angry Negro and one of my favorites, How to be a Black Friend.
Though I tired of the content and the level of satire toward the end of the book and even the language at times (does swearing make the point more clear?, I'm just sayin'...) I am glad to have read it. Reading this book exposed me to some topics about blackness that I hope to further explore and language to clearly and without an edge express myself with, while still being black.
Ultimately, Thurston's message is about being oneself. That no matter where the "future of blackness" takes us, we must know ourselves and be ourselves. And that is complicated right? We're trying to figure us out and then trying to explain it to others while staying open to things they do, say or who they are without shutting down or running away or even judging them for being different than we are. It's almost like he was saying you must know blackness in our country and then know yourself and then filter out the stereotypes and expectations (good and bad) and then...live courageously in your skin.
March 28, 2103
Black Literature.com
Black Literature.com has been designed to reach readers, book clubs, authors, and book sellers interested in the latest information in the African American Literary Community. I will be using this site to help me select many of my future literary choices.
There are many professional texts that I will be reading as well as articles and excerpts from magazines, journals, other blogs and the internet. It is my goal to be well-rounded in my reading choices, I don't think I can say that I've intentionally read more than 5 or 6 books in my lifetime that have to do with black history or black culture. With that, I'm eager to delve into a whole 'new' world.
There are many professional texts that I will be reading as well as articles and excerpts from magazines, journals, other blogs and the internet. It is my goal to be well-rounded in my reading choices, I don't think I can say that I've intentionally read more than 5 or 6 books in my lifetime that have to do with black history or black culture. With that, I'm eager to delve into a whole 'new' world.