So, I took a brief hiatus for a few reasons.

The first biggie was that I turned 40 and allowed myself to be swept up into the many wonderful activities and festivities that my husband and friends planned for me. Another time, I'll write a post about the phrase, "Black Don't Crack."

Another reason for the break was due to a surprise guest. That guest moved in on me and attacked my celebrations and doubled me over in pain and that guest is called 'food poisoning'. As a part of the fun, my mom took us out to eat and we had seafood - our fave. Well, something didn't sit right and let's just say, today's the first day after four days that I've been able to even have or have had an appetite for some of my regulars (coffee, grease and cheese - not all together, but yummers...). 

The biggest reason though for the break comes from being incredibly overwhelmed. I have even walked away from a few responsibilities and still am feeling like...WHEW. I didn't trust my myself and didn't want to taint my voice on this blog and didn't want to sully it by letting that load of stress dictate what we're trying to do here, so I just stayed silent and prayed through the fog. I am still fleshing out a few things: how to make this manageable, how to steer this so it has theme, purpose and relevance and most importantly, how to keep up. I want a readership (my new favorite word) and I want to make an impression but I don't want to be stressed out by this, I want for it to be for our enjoyment. 

So, my ideal of having fun with this is different than a lot of people, well most people, but having a plan and a schedule is a part of it. I think I have a plan of attack, but be patient with me if you don't see anything for a day or two. If you want to post something on the Facebook page though, let me know and I"ll link it for you. I just want to know you're still out there and eager to read more.

Here's to catching my breath.

Despite the food poisoning, I was able to watch this movie - it was in several sittings, but I got through it. 

Tyler Perry is an interesting "rise to fame" story. I won't go into it here, but will say that I ain't hatin' him for trying to tell these stories the way that he is. He is telling this story which alludes to the "border crossing" that I believe we ought to be teaching to all of our nation's kids that are living in poverty.

Tyler Perry's character, Mr. Wesley Deeds, is the CEO of his father's computer software company. He narrates the beginning of the film explaining how the life he lives is really the life that others have marked out for him. It's a comfortable life, but it's not fitting him properly because he's playing a character and not being himself. The trailer tries to sell the film as if he has two women that he needs to choose between when in essence, he must learn to choose himself. 

I like that lesson a lot. Stick with me, I'm not trying to ruffle any feathers or say that's it's okay to put yourself before everyone else, but I really want you to hear this and hear me revealing a little more about myself.

I am quite self-centered; it's true. Many in the readership might say - "well aren't we all to some degree or another', to which I must reply, I don't know where you at, but this gurl has got a lot of work to do on understanding and ensuring that she is not living with the mantra of "it's all about you" swirling around in her head. So, I am self-centered but know that I also come with lots of godly and wonderful qualities, but this self-focus is one that can be the bane of my relationships. 

1.  His full name is William Edward Burghardt Du Bois.  Check the pronunciation, there is a correct way to pronounce his last name. If you're not careful, in some circles it can out your blackness - or so I've been told, after I said it wrong.

2.  Mr. DuBois was the first African-American to earn a PhD from Harvard (1895) ten years after attending Fisk University in Nashville, TN. He attended and taught at many universities in and out of the country.

3.  He was an author, publishing The Souls of Black Folks in 1903 and over 20 other works.

4.  His great grandmother, Elizabeth Freeman, was a slave that sued the state of Massachusetts to earn her freedom.

5. He earned the "Lenin Peace Prize"; the Soviet equivalent to the Nobel Prize in 1959.

6.  Du Bois became a citizen of Ghana in 1963.

7.  Mr. Du Bois was a proponent of PanAfricanism.

8.  With supporters, Du Bois is credited for founding the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in 1909.

9.  Married and widowed then remarried, W.E.B. Du Bois traveled the world and fathered two children and one stepson. 

10. W.E.B. DuBois died on the eve of the historic march on Washington D.C. in 1963, the march which was led by Martin Luther King Jr.

"Men of America, the problem is plain before you. Here is a race transplanted through the criminal foolishness of your fathers. Whether you like it or not the millions are here, and here they will remain. If you do not lift them up, they will pull you down. Education and work are the levers to uplift a people. Work alone will not do it unless inspired by the right ideals and guided by intelligence. Education must not simply teach work--it must teach Life. The Talented Tenth of the Negro race must be made leaders of thought and missionaries of culture among their people. No others can do this work and Negro colleges must train men for it. The Negro race, like all other races, is going to be saved by its exceptional men." - The Talented Tenth by W.E.B. Du Bois (September 1903) 

Wrestle with that tenth being exceptional thing...

Saddest to me, he was labeled a radical activist for what he spoke about and eventually needed to leave America for Ghana. This actually reminds me of Jesus Christ in John 4:4, Mark 6:4. Easy for us with hindsight - that 20/20 vision, right? - surely we wouldn't do something like that, we would have been the ones to step up and host Du Bois and Jesus in our homes despite the gossip, threats and alienation for affiliating with them or even seeming to align ourselves with their way of thinking. I get choked up sometimes when calling another Christian back to their proclamation that "Jesus is their Lord." 

To be a man or woman that is willing to go there. To talk about it. To ask questions, to challenge, to imprint on others hearts and minds a new way of viewing an old matter of fact thing; I want to be able to do this. Being passionate about God will develop that courage and strength to be able to talk calmly and openly about race, poverty, marginalized groups of people and it will move me to act and more importantly inspire others to follow. What a great opportunity for growth, for me.

I wonder about Mr. Du Bois' faith. I found nothing while learning about him. Granted, I did not dig and delve, but even when I searched, 'top 10 fascinating facts about W.E.B. Du Bois' little about his faith was mentioned. He did want the church to step up and partner to erase the power and damages of the color line, but I've not seen exactly what he wanted the church to do.

A collegian, an activist, a teacher - I believe that W.E.B. Du Bois has qualified as a 2013 Black History Hero.

Read, study more and comment, I am eager to learn more.

Fascinating. Made in 2007 to document the evacuation of 600 African-Americans to Utah, this film stretched my mind to consider how well we (well really, how well I) love others. More than that, it brings us to look inward at ourselves and our own stereotypes and fears of those different than ourselves to ask what we would have done were we in the same or a similar situation. 

Oddities for sure...

Judgment for people not leaving the city and calling them unfit to have children and pets when they had no way to evacuate the city. Why not just tell the people that they were being flown to Utah? Why frisk them when they landed and were invited into the hospitality stations? Why put them on a military base in the middle of the desert, away from the city? 

Disconcerting in many ways, this film does call into question government neglect and quite possibly a conspiracy with regards to the levies. It also enlightens the segregation used by the church of Latter Day Saints against blacks and the lack of diversity in the state of Utah and in particular Salt Lake City. Though not surprised that these things do occur, I was disappointed in myself for how little I'd known about this evacuation and Hurricane Katrina and its fallout. The initial desire to be appalled and cast my stones toward the legal entities and people like the colonel in the movie (the way he spoke made me giggle, I can't explain why) was squelched when at the end of the film, several of those who proposed to shine a light on the disparity of treatment for those left behind in New Orleans, shone the light at my own heart.

While I certainly was uncomfortable with some of the issues related to race and poverty, I can think of nothing that I did in order to help my fellow Americans in New Orleans. We are invited to watch the devastation on television, but not really called to change our own lives to help - not just in this situation but to be helpers of one another. The Bible calls me to 'love one another' and does not attach race or wealth to it. It is a calling to serve and love and we are a nation in need of it.

To admit my full and open heart in this post, I will encourage you to watch the movie. It is challenging, for many different reasons. One confession that I had to admit to myself is that I did not "see" myself on the screen. I could not feel their displacement, their discouragement and depression because I can no longer relate to living in the poverty that the people in this documentary were shown as having experienced. I distanced myself and my blackness and categorized it in my rights and my impression of what I think I would have done. Well, I wouldn't have allowed myself to be in that situation in the first place. 

Wow.

I'm just being honest with myself and sharing it with you. I won't say I'm embarrassed but I will admit that it makes me want to learn more about why I think this way. Many of the evacuees that were interviewed in this film referred to God and Him giving them a second chance to start fresh. Of the 600 who were evacuated to Utah, 100 of them remained there. Lots of scenes showing people praying and worshiping God were encouraging to my heart and convicting as well. They did not seem driven by anger, but had real issues that were unresolved and even more pronounced moving away from where they'd grown up and made their lives. They had hope while admitting the challenges of the move and thanked God for the move, trusting that He had a plan for them in all of it. 

Still, I am hard pressed to move away from considering how a superpower in the free world could not be better prepared for a disaster like this one. And am still wondering if it were 600 white people who lived in poverty or better yet, 600 middle to upper class citizens - black, white or other - would there have been a different protocol for 'helping' those in need. Really.

Surely there are other sides to the thoughts shared in this documentary. Certainly, there were sound bites taken to make the point(s) the director wanted the audience to hear. Overall though, it made me uncomfortable to think and have to accept that if I were Regina escaping Katrina with little to no money, no education and the same skin I'm in, would I have been frisked after landing in Utah? 

Watch this film and decide what you will do.

A whole month, though the shortest one. And cold too. I'm hard pressed to name five black people (famous or personal to me) that enjoy being outdoors in the cold - I'm just sayin' why couldn't we get May or August?

Anyway, I've never given a lot of energy and time to celebrating black history during this month because I've often felt a bit smug about the idea of giving people a month to focus on their year-round, lifelong culture; especially a group of people who've been separated and alienated for a lot of this country's history.  

So, I have to be honest and admit that having gone to a predominately white middle and high school here in Wisconsin, I've never really spoken up about my interest in learning more about black culture and actually got even more quiet attempting to blend in during the month of February. Now, I work at a school where our student population is comprised of 99.9% African-American students and after hosting one of our parent advisory meetings, it was clear that this positive history exposure and instruction is important to our families, which has made it more important to me. I've gulped and swallowed and have decided to delve into a school wide Black History Month curriculum. I am working with a very talented teaching assistant and we are keeping it simple, but we're doing it. Friday during lunch, we showed a few videos to our students. It got me excited to think and blog. Check out the video below. Powerful.

As I post throughout the month, I will share more of my thoughts about black heroes and black history, things I learn and things I decide to question. Thank you for joining me on the journey.