As the mother of a thirteen year old boy, one where I've been the constant parent for the majority of his life, he is learning what encourages me and then following through on it. No more XL sweaters, no more items from the clearance rack on his way out of the store, no oven mitts, just quality time and acts of service; my two biggest love languages.
I love him, please hear me. I love him everyday, but on Mother's Day, I do not want a big fancy loud fuss. I don't want to cook or clean or do anything, I want to sit and enjoy him and do what I enjoy doing (blogging, reading, watching shows I've already seen). And so it can seem like I don't love my boy, but I really do. I tend to be hard on him and we have many conversations about his work ethic and doing things to serve and honor God - giving his best in all situations. His weaknesses are not ignored for his strengths; I push him and he doesn't always appreciate it but I continue to do it anyway. I think of myself as investing in his marriage to a godly woman who will appreciate what he has learned and become through me redirecting him to God. I want him to be peace-filled, a man of integrity and most importantly, faithful to God's plans and purpose for his life. I've told him and many mothers over the years how fortunate I am to have him but have long ago embraced that he is on loan to me because he actually belongs to God and that as a mom I only get to serve God through parenting (not my selfish desires), grow up while parenting him and then surrender him back to His maker.
Showing my love means (to me) some very matter of fact conversations about who he is, his strengths and weaknesses and sometimes even spankings (100% of the time that he lies - even at thirteen if need be) and my own preferences and dislikes and allowing him to respectfully point out hypocrisy or ask questions about the decisions that I am making for him in our home. He is not a little husband or companion to me and quite honestly, we are not even friends or pals. He is on a soccer team, goes to school and has buddies at church that can meet that need. I am his mother.
My time of influence is running out or at least the amount of influence is diminishing in comparison to what it was during his younger years, so I want to make the time I have left really count. I pray for him to be all of what God wants and since that includes a creative, engineering mind, I am working to support the development of those strengths and interests and talents for God's glory.
He thinks that he would like to work in the film industry someday. We talk all of the time about the possibility of this and how pleased God could be with him seeking and saving the lost through his interest in films. So, when he asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day, the list included things he could do and things that would honestly encourage me. Gotta give some direction, right? As a side note, I will say that because of my blunt but loving direction to him since he was seven or eight about purchases and gifts for me, he has become very attentive to preferences of others which has turned him into a really good gift giver. He has found that it's really encouraging to him too.
So, he made the stop animation film, "The Race" (below) for me. It is a "dabrickbro99" (the name for his production company) original.
He also bought me a card and wrote me a poem. He took me to lunch (well, I drove, but he paid) and he was willing to take a "nice" photo with me after church this morning.
I am thankful to be a mom. I know of so many who struggle to join this club naturally. My heart is with those friends who long to be mothers but have not yet had the experience or blessing to date.
With all of that, I will leave you with the following poems that my shorty wrote to show his love for me on this Mother's Day. (They are shared here the way that I received them.)
Mom I love you,
For letting me do some of the things I love to do.
Mom I need you,
because you tell me what I need to do when I'm confused.
Mom your pretty,
even when your supersilly
Mom your just amazing,
Even when you don't think so
Mom your legite (legit)
2 legite 2 quit.
When your happy, Im happy
When your sad, Im sad
it is like we are bonded forever.
because when you smile
I smile (like the Justin Bieber song)
Happy Moms Day to ya
I love you mom!