Reading a lot of other blogs and trying to find my own comfort level in blogland has been on my mind a lot lately. I was really encouraged to be directed to this post about sharing myself online. It is true that I've been nervous about being real and not knowing what is too much.
A coworker that I respect, but don't always agree with, but that I respect, shared that she felt that I was a good writer but thought that I was playing it safe. That the title of the blog and the content weren't matching up. I hated to admit it, but I agree with her. I had to begin asking myself what was holding me back. Who am I afraid of offending? Am I going to alienate myself? others? Will I disappoint? Am I not good enough? So much self doubt and then realizing, I haven't even begun putting myself out there...yet.
I just read a post on Facebook that said, "Freedom in Christ means you are free to do whatever you want...as long as it is righteous." This in connection to Galatians 5:13. Seems I'm getting the nudge to more "accurately and authentically" share who I really am and what I think about race as it relates to my experience, even if it isn't what others agree with or experience and whether people actually comment or not. (I really wish people would comment.)
So, I tackled the the worksheet and here's what I learned...
I tend to be at an arm's length with those I fear will judge me or my writing but want to be more of an open book in order to draw people in, to invite them into the way that I think or the things I sometimes consider, this makes sense in my head. Don't get me wrong, I don't want or expect that everyone will agree with everything that I write, but I do want people to like me. I don't like that about myself because I feel like it brings about lots of trouble, conflict and irritation. Probably isn't true, but that's how it seems. I do know that I still want to write this blog.
I tackled the homework and the three categories on the worksheet: things I won't talk about online, those things that I will post about and then those that I would like to post about but am a little scared. Here goes...
Things I won't talk about online.
- my marriage: my husband would have to be a guest writer in order for this to occur
- my children: the only way that they'll make it into a post is if what happens to them has something to do with race or my thoughts about it or they choose to write a post of their own as a guest writer (three teenagers in the house, this is quite possible, they have a lot to say!)
- my work: I like my job and want to keep it - no personnel stories unless given permission first
Things I will talk about online.
- my relationship with God, especially as it pertains to my personal growth and perspective of the posts that I will write
- stuff me and my girlfriends talk about
- books I've read, movies I've seen and music I've listened to
- news stories
- culturally relevant topics - I've been horrible about this (no posts about MLK, Jr., the Oscars, more about black history month) but hope to be better
- food I've started a relationship with - you know how you just go back over and over and over again
- television shows
- heroes & heroines
- Milwaukee, then and now
- American history and black people in it
- Other blogs
Things I would like to talk about online but am a little scared to write about.
- Social Constructs that we have believed and acted on for years
- Painful memories/experiences in my own past & present
- Segregation in Milwaukee
- Life in the suburbs - an expose
- Military life
Be patient with me as I write and grow, hopefully you'll ride along as I open up. I welcome your feedback and especially your support and am excited to move forward on this adventure - stay with me and bring a few others along with you.
Here's to getting to know one another. My name is Regina...