I'm in it. All up in my feelings...

I'm FEELING like the world is against me.

I'm FEELING like I can't do anything right.

I'm FEELING like I'm being picked on by life.

I'm FEELING like a drama queen - I pulled the muscles in my back and thought I was having a heart attack. Seriously, 4:10 in the morning, sobbing uncontrollably, afraid to call and wake anyone out of fear for crying wolf and alienating myself any further.

I'm FEELING as if I'm nothing but a wretched, pathetic person.

I'm FEELING lonely though I requested the separation and sent my child on a two-week vacation to his grandparents' home.

It seems that when I speak that I'm not heard or that what I say is not valued.

I don't know how to move forward on my path and wants and fall back on trusting what others say.

A bout of depression has crept in and I see it and am trying to fight it with my weakened self.

I am so thankful for friends that help me recognize that I'm under attack. Who remind me that this is just what it is, my feelings - nothing wrong with 'em but what I do with them is what is important. I was tempted to wait to post until I could be more chipper, more upbeat, more joy-filled but I'm also trying to be more real in this outlet, to express more of my vulnerability, to get it out. And now, to fill up with the truth. God's word. 

Jeremiah 29:11  - Romans 5:5 - Ephesians 5:1 - I Peter 3:18 - 1 John 3:1 - 1 John 4: 8 - 12, 16 

Now, to cling to it rather than my feelings...
 


Mark
07/09/2013 16:19

I am saddened & sorry to hear that you hurt your back & that you're under attack from the evil one. Keep fighting with His weaponry that "have divine power to demolish strongholds" [1Cor 10:4] so "you can take your stand against the devil's schemes" [Eph 6:11]. I suspect that blogging about it helped. Glad to see how often God's love showed up in the six Bible verses you're clinging to.

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Regina @ Floating in the Sea of Gigi
07/11/2013 22:03

Thank you Mark.

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Mary
07/11/2013 19:26

It's amazing how the obstacles of life shows up when we are wrestling with circumstances that should be lessons of how strong our trust and faith in God is. Job is still the perfect example of how not to waiver in the challenges of life, it's just a test. Stand firm, stand tall, stand holding to the truth, trust the Holy Spirit because it confirms that when all else fails to measure up God is always there to soften the blows and ease the fall. I want to encourage you to stay focused and tell the "devil" often that he is a liar and you don't belong to him. I will continue to pray for your rise above all that seems to have you down in the matchless name of Jesus. Mom

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Regina @ Floating in the Sea of Gigi
07/11/2013 22:05

Also lessons about participating in the conversation with God and then trusting Him enough to act on what we agree on. Had a situation come up where it was clear I acted on what I felt I "should" do rather than having the courage to do what was clearly from the Spirit (brought me much peace and joy). I'm learning and thank you for the prayer to rise as I truly have been feeling under attack, beat down and just plain "done".

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