I have been thinking about this for a long time. 

To blog or not to blog. I mean, I like to blog and post and even re-read what I've written. Oftentimes, I even make myself laugh. But since my wonderful vacation a couple of weeks ago (feels like it was last year already) I've been feeling dishonest with you and myself. 

I've been wanting to share more and have still found myself holding back. I want to write about just about everything and anything but don't want to write about things that "everyone else" is writing about. I want to share myself in this realm. And to do it honestly and openly while also being a bit more focused.

Here's where I freeze. What EXACTLY do I write about?

My fashion is not really blog worthy. I shouldn't even be eating most of the things that I do, so I'm certainly not going to take pictures and show it to all of you. I enjoy drinking red wine but don't think the career of sommelier is in my near or far future (red wine makes me itch AND I had to google the word because I spelled it wrong) and my family is too complicated and nuanced for me to write about in the boxes permitted.

So all that's left is me. My view on the world, my faith, feeling like a white girl in brown skin (that sounds like a post), unfair interactions and my less than stellar responses to some of them, my tough exterior and frail insides. Maybe I will write about my humor or just share it. Maybe one line a day, leave people wondering about my genius (or my take on my genius). I could share about education and my thoughts on equity. It could be that I ought to spend my time sharing about my faith and what God is teaching me though I already know that it would need to be in the context of my daily happenings or that wouldn't be at all authentic. There's no way that I could continue on without writing about books or movies that I'm enjoying and then that makes me think I need to "get out" more often and really explore the city of Milwaukee; complex thing that it is, and then write about it. I am going to be taking some tips from this guy about blogging authentically.

Why am I trying to limit myself to a box? I think I do this a lot. Tell myself that it has to be a certain way. I want to be more free to write about and share the real me. Does that make sense? I'm so tempted to poll all of you and ask you what you think I should blog about but know that would never last because it wouldn't be authentic, me writing for you. I know that I must write for myself. Which is why I think now is the time for me to have a new blog, new look, new vibe for this exciting outlet and season in my life. 

Stay tuned, it's coming and it's going to be great. Well, if not great, then it's certainly going to be me.