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Ahhh...Saturday afternoon.

It is the first one that I've been able to actually do some relaxing outside. I live in Wisconsin and the weather is a conversation everyday. Either it's too cold (most of the time) or it's too hot (stop complaining, it'll be cold again in a minute). I have become accustomed to the seasons and appreciate the winters so much more because it brings us days like this. Spring! 

This is a picture of me. I am outside, with only a sweatshirt and jeans and my Uggs - so that's saying something about how nice it is - this girl, outside without a coat, I'm just sayin'. No bugs, no rain, no snow and simply a quiet afternoon. 

I am so thankful to God that I live in a neighborhood and home where this kind of setting is only steps away. We are not concerned about feeling unusually unsafe living in this suburb of Milwaukee; I do lock my house when I leave and my car doors in my locked garage, but today I spent a large amount of time reading my Bible (I'm studying the book of Colossians now) eating ice cream with the boy and now am just sitting and appreciating this time to sit and reflect.

A friend just asked me how my week was and I chose to share with her the highlights of the week. Here are a few: 
  • a renewed contract and raise for a job that I am grateful they think I do well
  • time to connect with my teenage son on some things in his character and a couple of revelations in my own
  • the opportunity to mend a relationship that was about to be torn to smithereens with an apology and conversation
  • the possibility of returning to a service opportunity that I left behind earlier in the year                                            


Many blessings, but this week was "a lot". And life has been "a lot" lately because of the recent separation from my husband.

It was at my request and has been very tough on both of us and the children. I only share about the separation because it is a big part of my heart and time and energy. I will not use this blog to air any frustrations about my husband and will not turn this blog into a place to complain and vent. I do share about this rift in our marriage though because it is largely affecting how I am currently living my life. I have been holding back and not being very transparent because of my fear. Fear of what you will think of me, fear of what I will be challenged to consider in my faith and ultimately whether I've made an irreparable mistake.

I have long needed to bring this weakness (of elevating people's opinions) before God and allow Him to take it away from me. So, I will unload a bit of it here on my blog as I grow in it. To be clear, it is not so that you can "pick it up" as a reader and do anything with it, but only so that I can be more of myself and share more of my heart. If you are moved to pray, I welcome that or to offer a listening ear, I would be encouraged but the sharing is for no other reason than for me to open up a little more.

Just like the winter months have come to an end and the days have become longer and the temperature has warmed up, I appreciate that my heart is being defrosted and opened before God. A black woman, yes. More importantly though, a black woman who does fear the Lord and wants to be pleasing to Him. So follow my posts as best as you can, I do not know exactly where I am heading except outside of my comfort zone.





 



 


05/05/2013 17:10

regina, thank you so much for sharing your heart and opening up. i am tremendously inspired by that. i'm so sorry to hear about your separation, and really hope that you are emotionally ok. i know my emotions and response to trials can really weigh me down for weeks at a time. you might not be like that at all, but either way, know that i am praying for you right now. i hope that brings you a little comfort. i, also, completely relate in that i elevate people's opinions. that is such a curse for me and i'm currently struggling through that. may God take this burden from us both! love, your sister in Christ

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Gigi @ f2bme
05/09/2013 19:28

Hi Sara,

Thank you. I am going to continue working on this. I hear God calling me open up and be real. Please keep praying and I too will pray for both of us to put God's heart for us above all else. Let me know how it's going!

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mary collins
05/06/2013 11:07

Gina, 1st Corinthians 14 is a great study for supporting the things of order, verse 33 and 40 are key to discipline. Stay with the word as your ultimate guide and all will line up. MAC

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Gigi @ f2bme
05/09/2013 19:29

Thanks Mom, this is my goal. Prayerfully, God will be glorified in all of it.

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Katrice
05/12/2013 11:49

You are brave and I know it took a lot of thought and pulling your emotion to get where u are now. But because u are allowing God to be the focus it will be holy. My prayers goes out to you as always. 2 cor 1:3-7 may this give u comfort. Stay real my friend.

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05/12/2013 15:50

Amen. Thank you, I appreciate the scripture. Especially the reminder that He is with me/us in the suffering.

Trying to stay real, I am hoping to be more out of myself by year end on this blog. Pray, I don't want to hold back what could be helpful and encouraging to others because of Satan's schemes.

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