Eager to post about today's link up, I got hung up on the word "young" and immediately felt conflicted about my participation. Having just turned 40 in February, I am still adjusting to this new stage in life, and am continuing to accept that I am not old but that I also am not "young". In response to this week's linkup, I'm recommending these books to my twenty something self (and other women into their third decade of life) and hope that you see something that you'd like to read or recommend too. 

I had just gotten out of college and was burned out on reading books that my professors required me to read (I was an English major at the University of Wisconsin - Madison). I was twenty one and sick of reading and writing papers about what I had read. I did not choose to read for fun until in my late twenties/early thirties (I know, sad right?) or at least I don't recall reading any books that I chose having a robust impact on me.

So, I am recommending these five books for young women in their early twenties. Note that there are no books about my blackness or culture - I did not delve into this part of my life as a reader and am still working to be more conscientious about ensuring that the books I choose and recommend for my child incorporate this part of who I am. This is my list of books that I think young women should consider delving into and all for the same reason...

Who are you, really?

Do you know yourself? Do you study yourself and know your weaknesses and strengths; triggers and hang ups? Do you know your baggage and your prejudices? Your insecurities? Read these books and ask of yourself - do I know me and do I love me?

Are you the type of woman who is great at helping every other woman with their problems, but blind as a bat when it comes to your own issues as Anna was in Anna Karenina? Do you use shopping and credit card debt to create and live in a world that you cannot afford like Rebecca Bloomwood in Confessions of a Shopaholic? Do you feel torn between culture and love like Sayuri in Memoirs of a Gesha; if you do are you able to remain poised and calm despite watching your life fall apart? Are you or do you know Dolores Price in She's Come Undone? Dolores is an overweight, depressed, social misfit. She struggles and her story pulls on your heart and you must ask yourself have you mistreated or befriended a woman like Dolores if you are not her? Do you accept what's been put before you without asking more questions? Do you think there is more and are you willing to work at being your authentic self in order to reach your goals, experience your fullest potential and live the life that you want to? Read, Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self. 

I am constantly encouraged by how women overcome their challenges. It comes back to introspection and being honest about what you see in yourself, listening to your gut. I would encourage all "young" readers to read every book and ask about one's own self while reading. Every fiction piece has at least a slice of truth and can be an opportunity for each and every one of us to learn about ourselves and grow from what we learn.

If you are a woman looking to grow closer to God or grow firm in your beliefs about what He values in you, consider these titles. All of them include scriptures and in one way or another cut to the heart of our pain, insecurity and lack of trust. I have marked up my copies with many comments about how relatable the text was to my own life - usually things that happened young in my childhood or in my twenties. I appreciate the constant theme of God's perfect love throughout all of these books. Each requires that the reader take time to do some emotional and mental work and take a vivid look at their own lives and then to go and grow...closer to God.

I was very encouraged to see some overlap at The Very Unofficial Adult, (Bee)autiful Blessings, The Daily Distraction and a lot of new books to add to my GoodReads bookshelf.  I still have so much learning to do and look forward to reading about these books on my journey.

I am so excited to participate in the Preview to Summer: A Blogger Book Swap!

The second step in this swap is to share three of our favorite books. As everyone else has shared, choosing only three is a challenge, but these are the ones that continue to leave a mark on me.

1. The Bible. I read it almost every day. Almost 14 years ago, I was baptized into Christ. The Word of God has been incredibly relevant in my life throughout the past decade and a quarter. I am thankful for the words of encouragement, the promises and the expectations that God has for me. I hope my love for God is recognized in all I do; I only get the strength to follow Him and do His well by reading it and feeding on it everyday.

2. Eat, Pray, Love. I read this book over 7 years ago. I had been widowed and felt lost as to what I ought to specifically do next, how to actually move forward. I knew God was there for me but was unsure about how to step out into the world. I don't even recall how I finally got my fingers wrapped around this book, but am glad that I did. I could relate to a lot of her thoughts and feelings about herself; things she had suppressed for so long and that finally came to the surface. I was flying someplace, I don't recall where to, and remember reading this book on the plane and having to quickly cover my mouth to stifle a loud guffaw (yelp, inappropriately loud laugh) in response to the words on the page. I did not want to the book to end and to this day have not read the final page. 

3. Harry Potter. I think this is one of my favorites because I have read the entire series twice but more importantly, the legacy has lived on because my 13 year-old son has read it three times. It is a bond we share, a language we speak and it is all the more sweet because he was reluctant to even pick it up. Now, we laugh because I am able to choose books that I've not even read yet that turn out to be of interest to him, keeps him a hungry, hungry reader and his imagination vivid and youthful. I attribute that to the trust that Harry Potter helped me build with him. 

I am enjoying hearing about other folk's faves. So many books, so little time...

Don't be too hard on me, it was my first opportunity to make a guest 'appearance' on another blog and I was nervous - I took it as seriously as I took writing my graduate school papers.

They were looking for writers and I put my name in the electronic hat and they said yes and the post has been posted!

Please take a few minutes to read the post (also on BAIWB under the Woman section) and leave your comments. Also enjoy the other posts by 'Blogs by Christian Women". These young ladies are trying to do something really great for God and I am really thankful to have been a part of it making my debut out there talking about being real women of God.

I met a friend for sushi on Thursday night and though I arrived late (wrong sushi restaurant) it was a delightful experience. 

First, a little context about my personal relationship with sushi...

While living in Minneapolis, Minnesota less than 15 minutes from the Mall of America, I was introduced to the loveliness of sushi by one of the sisters in the Minneapolis/St. Paul Church of Christ. We were both temporary residents (me for family, her for business) and we hit it off right away. I can not recall the name of the lovely - small, intimate, wonderful - sushi joint but I went back a couple of times with this now dear friend, took my dad there when he visited and went alone many, many times. I experimented with lots of different rolls (no raw fish at this time) and thought I was a tough girl for embracing the pain of wasabi. You know what I'm talking about. It's not good wasabi if you don't need to wipe your running nose. And let's be real, it's just the Asian version of tabasco sauce, ain't it?

Anyway, over the years and after finding favorite spots in Madison, Wisconsin and on trips out of the country and on cruises and in other parts of this country, sushi restaurants have been some of my favorite places to eat.

I was so excited to visit with this friend - it had been almost a year since we'd seen one another- and the lounge was fairly dark, I forgot to snap some photos of our yummy dishes but we started with a yummy, beautiful to look at tuna spring roll. Its texture is something to adjust to and I have to remind myself that it is not cooked but the flavors were just magical. Really, it was very good. We had a glass of red wine (her a merlot and me an Australian wine with blackberry and currant) and water and ordered our rolls as we were hungry for them.

The menu at Wasabi Sake Lounge is not overwhelming - I get overwhelmed by too many choices (like the Cheesecake Factory Menu) and knew that practically every choice would be a winning one and it was.

We had the Wasabi, California Crunch, Oh-My-God (it came lit on fire!) and the Las Vegas signature (maki) rolls. There were no and I mean absolutely no cause for complaints.

The decor was fantastic - modern, clean and very night out on the town without being too over the top. Our waitress' name was "Air" - yes...like the "air we breathe". And though I digress, I must tell this truth. As soon as she spelled it out for us (of her own volition, though I was glad she did because I was almost certain she couldn't be for real), I thought to myself - MUST WRITE POST ABOUT NAMES BLACK PARENTS GIVE TO THEIR CHILDREN. Air was a fabulous addition to our wonderful experience at the Wasabi Sake Lounge and I will certainly return for celebrations, times to reconnect and quite possibly even by myself (yes, I do go to restaurants by myself with a book!).

For the record, anything tempura is going to make its way into my belly and into my top five sushi favorites. Maybe this alone would bring more black folks to a place of attempting sushi. I was the only black woman in the spot, from people working there to people eating there. Didn't mind it one bit though because my loyalty to the enjoyment of good food outweighed my need to fit in or be within the "proper stereotype". If you're reading this and are on the browner complexion spectrum, we could go together next time and increase the blackness of the 'sushi experience' for ourselves and others.

So, while it may not be common to see black folks enjoying sushi, this girl does and gets more adventurous with it each and every time that I get to go. Next time, saki!

It doesn't matter to me how dark or light His skin was, He died, rose again and brought me into a relationship with God. Really, polka dotted with stripes and I'd still follow. 

He has risen and is mighty to save.

These segments of the blog will be called 'black or white'.

It is my goal to determine whether the trends that I stumble upon originate more from black culture or white culture. I already know that I will ultimately be stereotyping some things into one culture over another and then will feel somewhat guilty about doing so, and then even on top of that will argue or defend my blackness as some may or may not agree with what I'm posting as it relates to the color of my skin, but I'm going to write the posts anyway.

This "latest" trend with nail polish and manicures is where the ring finger is painted with a polish of a complimentary color to the color chosen for the majority of the other fingers. It is called a "mixed mani" - how appropriate!?! I've seen my principal do this on her nails since the fall and have liked it but thought I shouldn't try it or like it for myself because it seemed like something only white people were doing and ahem - younger women. Yes, I hear myself - it sounds wrong to say it out loud, but it's what I was thinking.

So, today after enjoying some time at a friends' baby shower, I needed to opt out for some "me" time and chose to go and get my nails done. Indecisive as I was, I sent the Asian woman back to the well organized shelf of colors three separate times. Just an aside, am I the only one who gets overwhelmed by those fake nails and the hundred colors they ask you to pick from in less than one minute? Watching an Indian girl sit under the hand/foot dryers, she had to be in her early twenties with the lovely sky blue on her fingers (and the color that seems so "in") and I thought I would try it on all ten fingers. It looked good on her dark skin so it would stand to reason that it would be great on mine too.

But.I.am.40. 

40-year-olds don't need to be so bright and flashy and loud and, did I say bright? So, me and Amy (my new manicurist) decided that a great compromise would be black and then the blue on two fingers. Amy thinks I wasn't paying attention when she switched my request for Black Onyx to a deep hue of brown, but this is what we came up with and I like it.

Aware that my influence was my 26-year-old, white co-worker, I was at peace with imitating her in this regard. And when I was sure that I was imitating white culture, I looked across the nail stations at a black woman with a wave of weave and some very non-conservative clothing options and saw that she had the same mani but with red polishes. She had glitter and stickers on her ring finger but at the core, it was the same trend. It blew my original theory (that this was a white trend) out of the water. 

Conflicted, I left the nail salon constantly looking at my fingernails trying to determine whether this was "me". Crystal Gibbons wrote a post about the trend and I could absolutely relate to her and everything she shared in regards to the emotions around the manicure. Aware that this trend is fairly old in the fashion world (see this post) I am glad that it is one that has made it to my hands and that I've been courageous enough to try. 

Black or White? Neither, it's just plain fun!

Still cracking up...

So, I let the kids out of the car to run into the building for midweek. They run ahead to greet their friends and I stay behind to pull a hair out of my eye. I finally get it and hop out of the car and see a favorite person throwing her purse over her shoulder. She halts and yells out, "Lemme stop since I see another brown person."

Before I continue, let me just tell you that this woman can get away with saying things like this. She means no harm and delivers it with a smile. In fact, I realize that the way she said it made me glad that I was the brown person that she was talking to. I strolled quickly (it's still March in Wisconsin) toward her and we rushed inside together instantly connecting around upcoming events and the details that come with it.

Oddly endearing, being brown makes more sense. I mean, my skin really isn't actually black. No more than "white people" are actually white.

Another name for the same club I suppose, but I really did tilt my head to the side. It made me start asking all kinds of "what if" questions. Wondering what would be different about black history if it were in fact brown history. Curious as to whether it would have developed a more positive history - less discrimination and separation - if we were a brown people rather than a black one. I know that's ridiculous, I mean South Americans don't have a easy, breezy history.

Also, just an observation but "brown" isn't really an IT color. Not in fashion, not in decor and not in impact. (Black is so DRAMATIC!) So while I appreciated my temporary membership in this club and the person who initiated me into it. I really enjoy being around this woman, but when my feet touched the ground again, I knew that the club would only exist as I mentioned it between her and some other brown girls and this blog post.

Though technically brown, I'm still black as I wanna be.

I was going to do a lot of research to better understand this holiday. It's a holiday, right? Then I got busy doing a lot of other things and wanted to still post and well, this is what I know about St. Patrick's Day.

• People wear green. A lot of it. Beads, t-shirts, socks, even fake tattoos on their cheeks.
• Leprechauns are unofficially attached to this holiday.
• It has something to do with the Irish culture.
  
• There is green beer or just beer and a lot of drinking.

And that's it. That's what I know. And then there are news "stories" like this one.

It doesn't look good for anyone. Black folks. Irish folks. News reporters. No one comes out a winner.

I have to admit that I've watched this video at least 25 times. I have laughed, shaken my head, re-enacted parts of it (anybody see a leprechaun say 'yeah') and have even duplicated the amateur sketch and passed it along in my workplace to help us not take ourselves too seriously. - it works! Lately, I'm feeling a little bit bad about it. I mean, this teaches nothing good. Certainly there are so many more positive things that Blacks and the Irish could come together to do and share and give.

Of course, I must look at myself. Since laughter was the thing that most came from me in watching and re-watching this, I was wondering why that was. Half of me wonders if this is a hoax and the other half hopes it is. Why? Quite honestly, because these people are black and I'm black and this reflects poorly on them and me. The laughter is an attempt to separate myself because surely I would never go on television and show my "great, great, great grandfather's Irish flute" used to summon leprechauns. I mean, I should never say never. If I had the flute, I wouldn't share it with many because then I'd have to share the pot of gold. I mean...duh...

Seriously though, it's sad. I mean hilarious if a hoax and a community's practical joke. Anything else though, I ask - do you hear yourself?!?

Difficult not to watch something like this and not have it perpetuate or create stereotypes in our minds. Perhaps you may find it reckless for me to even post this as it gives the ridiculous more exposure, but I post it partially to challenge our thinking as to why something like this can even be developed, presented as news and then why it becomes so fascinating that we'd watch it over and over and then share it with our friends. And then quote it too.

I know it's not just black people that this happens with, we all do things that we can look back at and laugh at or at least that we ought to laugh at - we can be such a ridiculous people, can't we? In an age where everyone can so easily record and upload and share, I am still shocked that people so freely share such intimate things about themselves. That's not something that I'm super comfortable with and its really halted my viewing of 'reality television'.

So, to those of you have very proud Irish heritage, traditions and culture for which you have positive memories and experiences with, I apologize to you for my limited knowledge of it. This is what I know. Leprechauns are pretty important and are no longer just for you and yours. Consider yourself warned...

And then laugh.

It's been rough around here. I am feeling and causing pain, like everyone. E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. - even you precious...

And it got me to thinking...what is the color of pain?