Well, sort of.

If you live on planet Earth, and specifically in America, you've heard of the week long celebration of teachers called, "Teacher Appreciation Week". In areas where the average household has two parents and is considered "middle class", the week for noting the work of teachers can (and often does) go on all five days of the week that has been set aside in May each year. Recommendations from parent/teacher associations are chocolates, candies, hand-written notes, flowers and even gift cards. 

When I taught in the classroom (2000-2004), I don't remember the week being as much of a success or priority in the school where I worked so I never became super attached to it or knew that it should even be a big deal. So, when returning to education as a teaching assistant last year in the suburb we live in and now this year working in the city of Milwaukee, I realize some things had changed on the 'inside'. Where parents in many districts step up and direct most of this celebration, the leadership does take time out to honor and encourage its staff - at least the wise leaders do. 

At our school this during this week, we had something everyday but all of the surprises and encouragements came from our leadership team. Flowers, hot breakfast, signs from the kids, special desserts at lunch and an appreciation video directed and edited by my filmmaker son. They were so grateful.

If you don't know, teachers really are the single most effective person in the classroom. A teacher that learns and grows as they teach and develop can grow kids like nobody's business. We need them and as educational leaders, we know that our time must be invested in them having the support and resources that they need, so they absolutely deserve a week. But...

I had to admit that when Principal's Day came along and the kids celebrated and made posters and songs for her, I felt a little slighted. I know, I know - grow up right? But, I wanted to see that my staff and students appreciated and saw the value of the work and dedication that I bring to the job but did not believe it would be appropriate to ask. And then it happens...

Our principal created a "Food Appreciation Staff Day" and then a "Director of Operations Day" and sent out emails inviting us to donate money towards the purchase of a small gift, to write cards and have kids make cards and do small but thoughtful things and I knew there had to be a day for me too. When? I wasn't sure, but was so glad. 

So, it came on Wednesday, June 5th, the same day my son turned 14 years old and it couldn't have been more perfectly timed. Though busy, it was a day where I was able to sit down twice (very RARE), had many, many tight hugs and warm, sincere smiles and received cards from the staff encouraging me in my work and development of the school. One of the best gifts? Reese's Peanut Butter Candies, 4 different variations. So good.

Only 10 days from finishing my first year in educational leadership as a dean of students (like a vice-principal) and I am so thankful for the encouragement and small marker of success in my career. It has been surprising the things I've learned from our staff, students, families and being a part of the HOPE family but mostly, I am so thankful for what God has shown me about His love for me and what He believes that I can do while being me.

I have signed on to serve in this role again this next school year and am eager to help our school build on what we've already been blessed to see and go beyond it towards doing even more for our children. Easy? Certainly not. Enjoyable? Most days. Rewarding? Absolutely. 

I think I may be on such a high from actually COMPLETING my May Challenge that I am ready to announce and begin to go after my JUNE CHALLENGE.

For the month of June, I will only listen to music performed by Black Artists. 

If you've been with me since the start (January), you know that this blog was originally started with a focus on my "blackness'. Me exploring it, educating myself about it and calling out the stereotypes about being black in America. The blog was called, "Black As I Wanna Be'. Clever name, right? Can't take credit, it was the brain child of my creative husband to title it that. It got a little limiting though and I was treating life like too much of a book report. So, while I want to expose some of the "we've taken care of this race thing already, why are we still talking about it" mentality, I began to become hyper-focused on this one area of myself and didn't like where it was taking me. Hence the change in the focus of the blog. And the journey into the sea. Of Gigi. I am more than my blackness or any one part of me and wanted to be sure I was being balanced in my approach to learning more about myself and what I'm sharing with all of you.

So, I'm still interested in being black (whew right?) and dispelling myths and stereotypes about it (even the "good ones") and decided that in order to this, I might want to branch out and listen to black music. "Real" black music. So, in this month's challenge, I am planning to listen to a lot of music from many genres and artists; the only requirement? That they be black. 

Let me explain the need. I've.never.listened.to.Tupac. (Breathe)

Researching the plethora of musical genres, it became clear that I must narrow the field and determine more of a focus. So here it is...

I will take any and all recommendations for black musical artists, but will prioritize those that fall into the 22 genres listed below. 22 genres of music. Some of them I've never even heard of and some I'm unsure of whether I will be able to find to meet my quota. Hello?!? European Music?!? Classical?!? Hmmm....I think I just did some stereotyping. The goal will be to listen to at least ten artists in each category and then choose my top three favorites in each genre. I will post about those artists and their best song (in my opinion) and why I chose them.

My motivation to carry out this challenge comes from a couple of things. ONE. I am out of touch. I listen to the same music that I listened to while I was growing up and as a teenager in a suburb outside of Madison, Wisconsin, where at the time I was one of few black teenagers in the city we lived in.. Ahhh, the good old days. I am stuck because I don't really like all of the commercials on the radio, am unwilling to purchase XM/Sirius radio and lean towards the same music that I already like on Pandora. TWO. I am out of touch. (It's so true I had to repeat it.) As the vice-principal in a school where our student population is 100% black, I know nothing about what they listen to and enjoy or even what is inappropriate so that I can call them on it. I want to open myself up to new artists and see what my newly forty year-old self likes. 

Let me just say this. One whole month without Adele is going to be rough, but I think I am up for the challenge. 

Your recommendations are welcome. Enter them here in the comments section or email them to me as you think of them. I will update you once or twice each week with the plan being to submit a finalized list on July 1st.

Here's to fun in the sun and beats in my ears. June...here we go.

I reached my goal!

The yard is now landscaped. Well, as far as I plan to this season. You know how sometimes when you work on something, it leads you to want to do more. This project was the same. 

We will need to spray the weeds that are coming up between the bricks on the patio, figure out to do with the big pile of heavy clay-dirt near the garage and then eventually switch out the railroad ties that hold the beds for something that can not be infested by ants and bees. Projects for another day.

It is so exciting to have done the work and in the time frame that I set. It looks pretty good; so very fun to pull in and out of the driveway everyday and look at the new blooms that are popping up. 

Thank you for the encouragement and support.

I don't like to pack so many things into one day. Every once in awhile though, there is a day like that and today was one of those days. All good things (hang time with kids from school, encouraging a co-worker, building new relationships, getting gas, going to the bank, watching my son score the only goal at his soccer game and studying the Bible with a woman who wants to become a Christian) but a lot of running and going all.day.long. So when I finally got to sit down and eat dinner it was fun and engaging and I'm glad to say that it was great end to a very busy day. 

Though it didn't begin that way...let me take you back.

I enjoy trying new things. Really, as much of an introvert as I am, I really do like having new adventures and I enjoy taking others along with me. So, when livingsocial opportunities come my way (two each morning via email) I often find things that intrigue me or items that become "must haves". Since I've done a lot of purging of stuff in the house, I've been looking for more experiences in the city of Milwaukee. 

The Dinner Detective showed up on my livingsocial links a few weeks ago and I was immediately drawn to the idea. It is in many, many cities across the states and is worth the money. A ton of laughs and mystery, also a bit of an chance to play a part. I took a girlfriend who I thought would not be shy (and she wasn't). After arriving in a frenzy - check out their requirements for their dress code; we were nervous - we got registered, chose our names (no boring names allowed), read the guidelines and got down to work. Well....we grabbed a glass of wine and then began our investigations.

Since I did not realize that I myself would be a suspect, I did not have my backstory filled in like some others had done, so when I introduced myself as Gigi and other suspects/participants asked what I did for work, I said that I "trained leaders to manage the little people in their countries". Yes. I said that. Out loud. To five different people. That speak and understand English.

Thankfully, we were whisked into the dining room from the cocktail area and seated at our tables and the "show" began. I won't give too much away except to say, pay attention, listen and have fun. Be yourself. Interact and engage with the actors and those at your table. It was a really, really great time. I studied the clues and listened to the conversations and was harassed a couple of times by the detectives.

Do you know they had half the room thinking "I had done it". And since I had developed a bit of a headache and was so into the show, I eventually began wondering if I had actually done it myself. Seriously, there were a few moments where I was like...how is this about to play out. Can you say, paranoid?

I won though. I actually figured it out. I knew who the murderer was! How? I listened to the show, fully immersing myself in the fun of it and trusted my gut (or rather my suspicions). Recently, a friend told me to focus on my intentions going into a situation rather than having a pile of expectations. I did that. And I had a wonderful time. Not here and now, but probably in some quiet times over the next few days and months, I will consider how I might regularly do this in my everyday life/innermost being and eventually live more of a free life in Christ. Free to live in my intentions to follow Him rather than so many expectations of my weak and sinful self. Yet, I digress...

Back to the Dinner Detective!!! A.k.a. - ME!!! 

Talk about being in the right place at the right time? We were seated at the same table as a woman who just opened a restaurant that makes red velvet waffles with fried chicken. Yep, go 'head, slap yo mamma! One of the actresses involved in the show, seated at our table (without our knowledge) could not feign her disinterest after a picture was passed around. Everyone at the table is eager to frequent this place - don't worry, I'll blog about it.

In a fairly small banquet-y room at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Milwaukee, positive, fun, funny, memories were made. And then the topping on the cake? When I told my son about it, he was so proud of me and insisted that my victory had come from our watching Psych episodes together.

All we could say over and over again was how much fun we'd had. 

Pinch me. I still can't believe I won - I don't win stuff. Really, I don't ever win things. But tonight I did and tomorrow morning, I am looking forward to sipping my coffee from my newest mug.

Yours truly,

THE Dinner Detective
The Hyatt Regency - Milwaukee, Wisconsin

I already know that I'm going to participate in the next blogger book swap due to this very positive experience with Mia from Chronicles of Chaos. 

In an effort to keep it real with people, I was sure I'd over shared with her about my current personal challenges and was even more sure that she'd written the hosts of the swap and told them that they should nix me from this and all future opportunities like this one.

There was a bit of silence and then this lovely package arrived...

It was clear that she'd considered me. To be clear, we've never met; only emailed, read one another's blogs and then packed up encouraging gifts to encourage the reader, blogger and woman within. A handwritten card, a small pack of Burt's Bees goodies, lip gloss that I just adore (EOS, anyone?) and nail polish that will be flattering with my skin tone. Most encouraging though is that she read my blog and could tell that I'm kind of all over the place on this journey to find comfort with myself and then confidence in sharing who I really am with the tiny corner of the world that I come into contact with. The book on the left is the "Immortal Life of Henrietta Locks" (homage to the "blackness" part of my blogging journey) and "The Happiness Project" (respect to the current challenges in my personal life and the fun of trying something new). I am saving both for my first of two weeks of summer vacation in late June. I can already picture it now, sitting on the back porch reading, sipping a beverage and applying and re-applying Burt's. I'm so excited.

They came, they saw, they planted!

There were 9 teens and another very helpful adult present and we got most of the work done in just under four hours. I am so pumped about what we were able to accomplish though I will admit there were doubts along the way.

Let me just first off say that gardening and yard work is not my cup of tea. 

I like parts of it and get excited about the end result and enjoy doing small spurts of work, but this would not make it into my top 1,000 jobs I'd choose to do daily. Gratefully, the kids were well fed by the breakfast that I prepared. We looked at a parable from the Bible about planting seeds, prayed for the food and the time together and for the most part, they stayed engaged and worked hard for the bulk of our time together. Sore and tired the next day, I was glad to have had all of their young muscles to help us attack this project. They killed it! Really, they did a very good job.

Here are a few things I learned along the way...

• You need to have mixing soil for nutrients and good stuff like that.
• You need to take measurements to the designer so that you don't purchase too many things for your project.
• You must make sure that you call digger's hotline BEFORE you dig.
• You must ensure that you have plenty of supplies so that everyone can be continuously working (thanks to the many neighbors who loaned us shovels, weeders and advice).
• You really need to have two adults around when managing a group of teens on projects like this; it was especially helpful to have one who was knowledgeable about what she was doing. 
• You must have a sense of humor. Laughing at yourself and what you don't know - this has to be okay...
• You must stay hydrated (even if it's overcast outside).
• You should consider playing music.
• You need to think through the project all the way to the end. (I forgot mulch!)
• You must know what you want it to look like in order to tell others - oh! Be sure to know how to communicate it quickly and change it as much as possible to be sure that what you want is what you get.
• You must trust that when you turn your back to work in a different area, that the job is going to get done, as you directed.

I realize that I could not have done all of the work that the teens were able to help me do. They took down the huge pile of dirt near the newly constructed garage. I still don't know what I'll do with it, but it has potential. The amount of weeds we had to dig out and cleaning and preparation would have been daunting for me to tackle alone. They dug holes, got their hands dirty (so dirty that dirt was under the middle of our fingernails), they talked, laughed and held worms and bonded. It was time well spent on so many levels.

At one point, our elderly next door neighbor had a person helping him out with his beautiful backyard and the gentleman helping commented on how well I interacted with the teens and actually said, "It looks really nice, you all did a nice job." (I receive that!) He also told me that the back bed was probably going to be a little tight, but I'm happy to trim, trim, trim as necessary. He wasn't raining on my gardening parade.

There are a few other things that I need to do before we can call it "a goal accomplished". 

1. Be sure to put down some sort of tarp to keep the weeds down.
2. Mulch the beds.
3. Plant the beautiful magnolia tree.   
4. Water, water, water. 

I believe that these things can be done by Friday night. Prayerfully a family of six is coming by to help us complete the work. It is my hope that the weather will hold out, that we can knock all of this out in less than two or three hours before the sun goes down and that I will be blogging on Friday night about the completion of this first month's goal.

It is great to know the power of setting a goal. And honestly, learning that I could not have done this by myself, I really need to stop thinking that I need to do so much on my own. It was more enjoyable with others and with people feeling comfortable enough to weigh in and give me advice on this which I know so little about, they saved me time, money and frustration (thank you Meghan!). 

Look forward to photos of the final product and please pray for me to finish strong.

This weekend serves as a marker for loss of my husband/his father in August of 2005.

Due to injuries sustained from an Improvised Explosive Device (IED).

We start feeling weighed down about a week before this holiday weekend arrives.

Grew so much. Looking at him made grown Marines who had been in battle with his dad cry. They had to turn away. 

Family that we don't see but once or twice a year who love us as if no time has passed.

Ice cream cones that come with a kiss and two cheerios for eyes.

Marines. Semper Fidelis.

We remember the call.

Ceremony. Short and bittersweet. Lots of hugs.

Few but big tears.

21 Gun Salute, it still makes me jump.

Visiting his grave site to remember. To take a moment to be silent and remember.

The aching and longing from my child because he wishes he knew more about his dad; wishes he had had more time with his father.

9 months of attempted rehabilitation...to no avail.

Standing tall while not feeling tall inside. Fearful of what others think of me because of decisions I've made to move our lives in a different direction (away from what they're used to or know).

Seeing people who helped us and being able to thank them for all they've done to help us through a very challenging time.

Remembering the criticism and judgment from the media.

I still own the dress that I wore to the funeral. A size 0. (Not bragging)

Taps.

The bell that rings after they name each fallen Wisconsin Marine. 

Having my son hold my hand as I cry.

Me putting my arm around him when he became silent and observant of the reality of the ceremony.

Respecting the meaning of the flag and the meaning of "ultimate sacrifice" on this holiday.

Considering the sacrifice of Jesus and being even more in awe of God's perfect love for all of us.

Him picking up the empty shells from the 21 Gun Salute.

Marines committing to helping him learn about his dad as a Marine.

Going to the parade and watching some people get it; others, not so much.

Hurt in micro-moments considering how few people remember.

Grateful to be the parent of this kid. Thinking I've done a pretty good job so far.

Tired of holding back this part of my life as if it doesn't exist to make others feel comfortable.

Ready to finally put up our own American Flag. There will be a ceremony!

Asking "why us" less.

Seeing my son worn out because of the emotion that is starting to stay with him after these weekends.

The encouragement felt when you are with those who understand your loss, even if for only a few hours.

It is time to reach out and stop grieving alone.

Did I mention the hugs?

Having the Major personally check in to ensure that we are alright.

Accepting my reality. I was widowed at 33.

Wishing there was more I could do for this boy.

Knowing that God has a perfect plan.

Roselawn Cemetery. Monona, Wisconsin.





I am so thankful to have this little boy in my daily life and to be able to watch him grow. Chad, would be so proud of him. I am.

Visit Freedom Remembered for a brief history of our American hero.

It was a rush.

I will readily admit that I actually ENJOYED purchasing items for the yard. As you can see from the slide show, it was an absolutely gorgeous day and the help that we had from Shawn and Mary  (employees at Minor's) was the topper of this experience. 

Let me reiterate, if I haven't already, that I do not care for too many outdoorsy things. Sitting outside is going to be prettier but not necessarily less irritating because there are still going to be bugs outside. Camping (the concept) really still confuses me greatly.

Alas, we went out on our journey to purchase the goods for the landscaping project for this Saturday. (There is still a goal to meet folks!) We got to Minor's and it was a beautiful experience. In spite of who I've often felt I am in regards to nature and planting and gardening, I was actually enjoying the time spent with my son and the incredibly helpful, kind and courteous employees at Minor's.

It went so well that Dylan is planning to apply for a job there next year. Though, as you view his video below, you'll surely see why he's most motivated to work there. He was helpful in taking almost all of the pictures and shooting this video (below) and two others that did not make the cut. 

The goal was for him to get me in the moment, really working on and planning to "landscape the yard" and he did just that.

For the record, we bought NO statues or yard decorations. Only plants. Only bushes. Only things that needed to go into the ground. So, today we brought home 1 Japanese Burberry Plant and 1 Orange Rocket (impulse purchases), 3 Jean Davis Lavendar plants (can't wait to find out what this lady did to get a sweet smelling plant named after her), 5 Black Eyed Susans, 6 Feather Reed Grasses, 3 Angelina Stone Crop, and 5 Baby's Breath plants. All of these are PERENNIALS. This means that I don't need to do anything except plant them and clear them each spring. My kind of plants. The rest will be delivered on Thursday.

If you've been following this month's challenge, you probably know that I was hoping to pay someone to deliver and plant the other beauties I purchased today (hydrangeas, rose bushes, boxwoods, minuet weigelas and a beautiful, big Royal Star Magnolia Tree). Well, I called around to a couple of landscaping businesses (after joining Angie's List) and apparently, my little jacked up yard doesn't really rate. They are not "doing this kind of business at this time of year." So, yes. You guessed it. I need to DO IT MYSELF.

To be clear. Gigi is not a do it herself-er. Gigi is a "pick out what you like and pay someone else to do it so it's done the right time first and if it breaks, they have to come back and fix it for free (or close to free)" kind of gal. I was a bit deflated last week. I knew I'd set this goal and shared it on my blog. And, if you don't know it, I am a big fan of accountability. So, since I shared, I felt I must do all I can to make it happen. And...I really, really want to enjoy the backyard this summer with family, friends, co-workers and for the neighbors to be able to enjoy it as well. So, I had to choose to be creative. Which, I am learning I am...in certain ways. I am also learning that I am also a bit of a business woman. 

I need to have labor to get this yard completed and especially if I am going to reach my goal of getting it done by the end of the month. There are a few teens in our church who'd like to go to church camp (at $350/child). And there it is. A partnership.

The details are still being finalized; hopefully to have them come over from 8 - 12 on Saturday. I am planning to make them breakfast and provide water and music. There will be a plan and I am fairly good at delegating. I only pray that "many hands will make light work" and that the weather is great for this task.

After dropping Dylan off at soccer between rushing from Minor's to the drive-thru at McDonald's (bleh.), I realized that I was excited to do something with the goodies that I had just purchased. Tired from the day and the excursion, I chose a small area and planted the three lavender plants. Or shall I say, three Miss Jeans please!?! They are to grow to be about three feet tall and needed about 12 to 15 inches of space between them. I pulled the weeds, dug the holes and planted. As soon as I did it, I was worried they were too close, not deep enough and not straight enough. I put away all of the supplies in the garage and then went to check on them, to look at them and then take photos of them (they are up in there in the slide show). While the bunnies in our hood are very cute, I'm hoping they don't eat or care for lavender plants.

I can now admit that I am grateful that the landscaping companies I called were too busy with bigger projects to consider my yard. Now I can tend to it and grow it and enjoy it too.

Stay tuned for future progress updates. Only 11 days until the end of the month...

Though the weekend is not over and so many other things happened, I was grateful to be in Madison for the weekend. Not thinking about much else than giving to and encouraging others, while being refreshed myself. With the separation from my husband and stepchildren and time to think and pray while there, it is clear that God is (and probably has been) trying to get me to focus on Him most for YEARS. It has not been deep enough, nurturing enough and that is my desire to change this. This weekend was a great watering of the seeds planted in me though. 

After staying with great friends and watching them interact with their husbands and children, I do believe that there is more that God has planned for me and those that I love. I do not know how it will look and what it will mean for all of us as far as reconciliation, but I do wholeheartedly believe that it WILL bring Him glory.

As always when I travel, I am grateful for the experiences, but am thankful to be back home.

The biggest reason for this road trip back to Madison (a city I lived in/near for 24 years, which I don't visit very often) was to encourage Amy in her first official "Holy Yoga" class. It was amazing! Really, REALLY, it was amazing. 

She was so in the moment and so filled with joy and peace about what she was doing that she was herself and really, really great at what she was doing. I was in awe. And grateful to see her do something that seems she was built to do. Do you have friends in that place in their life? Where they seem like they are doing exactly what God built them for? Well, I was there, front and almost center to watch her.

I was so impressed and proud and convicted. The card that I picked (top center) was in direct correlation to the challenge that she had given me the night before while were sipping sangrias. If you weren't aware, I'm going through an incredibly challenging time right now. And while I'm learning to process it and to see what it is that God wants me to see, learn, grow in and just flat out change, I believe that he is using those around me to make it plain for me. So, while Amy has been on the periphery of what is going on and a huge encourager, she listened for a few minutes in her kitchen. Tearing when my heart fell out of my chest on her table and listening and nodding and listening some more. Then finally, she challenged me to the following...

From now on, when someone says something kind about me, I will respond with, "I receive that." Yep. "I receive that." 

Now, this ain't something I'm used to saying and is not a part of my language and I was looking at her with my "Whatchutalkinbout Willis" face. It took only seconds though. Her stellar wait time, my thirst for something to lighten me and her not breaking my gaze...and I accepted the challenge. So, if you hear me negate a compliment, kind word or a form of encouragement - feel free to remind me of the challenge that I have accepted.

Anyway, I pulled the scripture Matthew 5:16 and read it over and over again throughout the Yoga class, certain that this is something that God wants me to hear and act upon. Powerful. That and I can't really feel my arms today. I was so pleased to be at this class and can already speculate as to how successful she will be as God is already moving things around to help her do great things through this for Him.